Sunday, December 4, 2011

Didn't Know I had So Many Tears...

I am new to blogging/journaling/writing thing.  But I need something to keep me going.

I've cried every day since I lost my baby boy Roosevelt Washington IV.  He was born 11/11/11 at 9:08 pm and became an angel the same night at 9:45 pm.  I have so many emotions and I don't know what to do with them.  It is hard being on "maternity leave" and I am home with no baby.  I miss him so much.  I am so thankful that I got to meet him. No one wanted him more than I did.  My heart is broken.  I try to think positively but it is so hard.  I think about him squeezing my hand, his tiny feet and hands, and the time we spent together.  I also think about what if he was her, how would life be, who would he look like, and what would he grow to be.

I feel as if my body failed me hellp syndrome and preeclampsia have broken me... but I still love my Angel Baby RWIV

Hey Baby,

Mommy loves you and misses you so much.  I am sorry that I could not do anything to save you.  It is so hard without you hear but I know you are in a better place.  I put up the Christmas Tree yesterday but it was a bittersweet moment.  I am waiting on your ornaments to add to the tree.  You will always be in my heart.

Love Mommy :-)


  1. He is beautiful! I know that you are fresh to all of this and I want you to know that you will never stop hurting for your son, but it will get better as time passes. Not better that you never think of him, but better that you can actually bare the pain. Thinking of you and keeping you my thoughts and prayers <3

  2. I am so sorry for your loss. There just aren't words, and it is amazing how many tears come after losing a child. Wish so much your precious boy was in your arms tonight.


  3. I'm so sorry for your loss of precious Roosevelt. He's beautiful! ((hugs))